


Give My New Body A Chance

by Akiko_chaan, shitty4eyes



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-11 12:08:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16475294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_chaan/pseuds/Akiko_chaan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shitty4eyes/pseuds/shitty4eyes
Summary: "I won't let anyone hurt you anymore. You'll be okay. I promise. No one will ever touch you like that again."He was warmer now. Changkyun was warmer now."I don't want to burden you," Kihyun whispered against his hair. "You don't need to know my reasons for killing each and every one of them. Because I think I just found a new one."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Hello and welcome to our story! Two Changki angst advocates, this will be a ride. Get ready for a rollercoaster!
> 
> 2\. We've been writing on this for quite a while now, yet please be patient with updates! I, Aki, have just started university and so we might take our time, but the chapters will be long and we will do our best to upload frequently!  
> (And despite Dan's reputation, he told me to write, we will definitely finish this fic.)
> 
> 3\. This story has an official song! Which is, coincidentally, also the title. Please check out "Give My New Body A Chance" by SYML! He's amazing.
> 
> 4\. Come yell at us on twitter. @ Akiko_chaan and @ shitty4eyes. We'd love to see some #GMNBAC rants.
> 
> 5\. Have fun reading! <3

“A _miraculous_ ten out of twenty five!”

Minhyuk’s voice was loud, as usual, harsh against Kihyun’s ears that had nearly gotten used to the silence that comes with concentration. His _concentration_ , which had been fixed on the target several meters away, his fingers closed tightly around the bowstring, the tension building almost to a breaking point until he had finally let the arrow cut through the misty air around them. It was a quiet noise, muffled as it hit the painted wood of the target, and Kihyun flinched as soon as Minhyuk announced his result, breaking his precious silence where he hadn’t just hit inches away from the bullseye.  

“We have guns for a reason, you know,” Kihyun grumbled, even as he took another arrow out of the quiver slung over his back. Personally, he didn’t see the appeal of having to fight on an almost daily basis with four absolute morons, but there he was. Learning fucking archery.

“How many times have we talked about this?” Minhyuk rolled his eyes, and Kihyun could see him on the verge of sighing, crossing his arms and shifting a bit. “I want to see you trying to fire a gun without any bullets.”

“That’s exactly the reason why I wanted to go into the city last week,” Kihyun grumbled and accidentally let the arrow drop from the string in his annoyance. “Or try and find a trader somewhere.”

“Oooh, yeah, the _city_ ,” Minhyuk sighed in faux bliss. “Lovely views. Absolutely infested with vampires, but it just adds to the charm, doesn’t it?”

Kihyun quickly bent down to pick up the arrow, frowning. “I didn’t say it would be _easy_ \--”

“Just learn how to use a fucking bow and arrow, Kihyun.”

Kihyun grit his teeth but it didn’t stop the words as his snapped his head: “Oh, I am so _sorry_ I didn’t grow up with a father being able to teach me all of this stuff!” Kihyun grunted, trying his best not to sound too annoyed, but he had never been particularly good at hiding it. “That I have to learn this for the same reason that they’re fucking dead!”

Kihyun looked down. He took a deep breath and it… it wasn’t even as much about archery as it was about everything else going on; the lack of real food and the constant fear of being seen and captured, as well as being as dangerously close as they were to the city was making him lose his temper pretty easily. He missed _guns_ , for God’s sake, but Minhyuk was right. They were loud and they’d run out of bullets soon enough, especially with Jooheon’s dreadful aim. Not that Kihyun blamed him. He’d be terrified too if he wasn’t so angry.

Considering that, Jooheon was the bravest person Kihyun knew.

Minhyuk paused from where he was perched on a box next to Kihyun, biting down on his lip. “Yeah. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Kihyun responded through gritted teeth, trying to relax his jaw. He hated it when the others apologized for misunderstandings and arguments just because Kihyun couldn’t, well, couldn’t _control_ his temper sometimes.

“Then don’t make me feel so bad,” Minhyuk pouted, before smacking Kihyun’s arm. “And stop shaking. God help you if you ever have to teach anyone.”

“Who would I teach?” Kihyun answered, giving up on trying to make it seem like he didn’t care about himself being bad at handling arrows. “It’s not like our group hasn’t got enough people to feed already. Even without--”

Kihyun furrowed his eyebrows, shaking his head trying not to think about what was hovering on the tip of his tongue. He should focus on archery, getting better at it and being able to protect whom he cared for the most instead of living in the past. Maybe if he had been better at it earlier, they would be in a different situation now. One where--

 _Stop_.

“Has Jooheon eaten at all?”

Minhyuk nodded. “Shownu made him. He wants to come along, so he kind of had to.”

Kihyun chuckled bitterly. “He wants to? Shownu will never let him.”

“I think they must have come to some sort of compromise,” Minhyuk said, smiling softly, sadly, the tip of his shoe tracing patterns in the dirt.

“Should’ve known Jooheon wouldn’t give in easily.” Kihyun pulled out another arrow, focusing on the red ring in the middle of the target. “I can… kind of understand him. Still think he should stay here, though.”

“We need him,” Minhyuk said, softly, like he didn’t really want to be heard, but Kihyun looked at him and Minhyuk sighed. “Listen, I realize Wonho’s single bicep is the size of my head, but we need everything we’ve got if we’re going in there, including him, and you know it. I don’t exactly _want_ him to come--”

“I know.”

MInhyuk paused, before frowning. “Wait, what do you mean you ‘kind of understand him’?”

“You’re really going to make me talk about feelings?” Kihyun chuckled. “Shit, you know I’m even worse than Shownu, and I can hear you two arguing about him not showing enough affection at least five times a day.”

Minhyuk pouted. “Turn it back at me, why don’t you…”

“I’m an expert at misdirection.”

“Is that why you haven’t managed a single shot since we started?”

Kihyun let the string go, the arrow shooting through the air with an impressive speed before hitting the target. Both of them tilted their heads, Kihyun squinting his eyes to see the result--goddamn, a pair of glasses wouldn’t hurt right now if glasses weren’t harder to get than running water--before throwing the bow onto Minhyuk’s lap.

“Five points”, Kihyun said with raised eyebrows, not really fighting the smug tilt of his lips.

“Kihyun! Minhyuk!” They turned their heads at the sound of Shownu calling them from the back porch of the house. “Wonho got the battery started, we can go whenever you’re ready.”

Kihyun could feel his fingers starting to tremble ever so slightly, so he quickly shoved them into the pockets of his jeans. It was ridiculous, really, how even the notion of going to such a place was making him lose his confidence, no matter how many times he had done things similar to this before. His normal reaction would’ve been to choose to ignore the fear, the risk of all they had to lose. But considering what had happened, it was a lot harder than he had expected.

It was always a prominent kind of fear--something they experienced every time they put themselves in danger--that one of them would fall. That one day one of them would be hurt beyond what they could manage, or be just a second too slow, or do something reckless or just plain stupid. He’d known Shownu for years, ever since the older man had decided to take Kihyun out of the literal dredges and under his wing, and he knew Shownu would, without hesitation, risk his own life for any of theirs. Especially Minhyuk.

It scared Kihyun to think that survival instincts could take a backseat to the person you loved.

And it wasn’t the first time Kihyun was glad he’d never been, and would hopefully never be in a position as bad as Shownu’s, Minhyuk’s or, sadly, poignantly, Jooheon’s.

“What time is it, even?” Kihyun asked, trying not to let the tight knot nestling in his chest show. Minhyuk tended to get anxious if he noticed Shownu or him weren’t convinced they’d get out of it alive, and he didn’t want to scare the other even further than he already must be. Minhyuk was just like Kihyun had been as a child or teenager; he had always counted on Shownu’s opinion. If Shownu was calm, everything was fine. But once he started to show signs of stress or fear, Kihyun would be almost assured of bad things happening. It was like a sign, an omen, almost.

“About ten,” Minhyuk said, smiling, earnest, up at Shownu. Maybe he couldn’t notice the frown nestling between his eyebrows. Maybe he just chose to ignore it. “Nice and early.”

“Where’s Jooheon?” Kihyun took the quiver off of his back, handing it over to Minhyuk.

“Getting his gear,” Shownu said, evenly, and Kihyun sighed.

“Shownu, you can’t let--” He didn’t want to talk about this so openly, fearing Jooheon would turn up in the doorway any second, and the last thing he wanted was letting Jooheon hear all of this; but his gut told him it wasn’t right to let him tag along like this.

“You can’t let him come with us,” he whispered, quieter now, trying his best to be subtle about it. “I just talked with Minhyuk about this. I’m not heartless, I get why he wants to, I really do, but that’s just complete madness. He’s in absolutely no state to go in there.”

Shownu listened, and he nodded, calmly, tensely. “Would you tell me to stay behind if it was Minhyuk?”

Kihyun looked away, focusing his eyes on the wall of the house; the paint was old, so dry it was starting to crack and break. Maybe all of this had looked beautiful once, a nice big farm house on the outskirts of town, but all Kihyun could think about now was how much he wished to be somewhere else.

“Shownu,” Minhyuk said, whined, almost, and Kihyun couldn’t make himself glance at whatever facial expression Minhyuk must be wearing.

“I get it,” Kihyun gritted out, walking towards the house, to his room. Well. The place he slept and kept his weapons. His shoulder pushed slightly against Shownu’s as he passed him. “What I don’t get is why all of you keep thinking I just don’t care about it. I do care, if you’ve forgotten. But I also care about Jooheon, and letting him walk in there with us is like giving him a gun and telling him to put it against his temple, okay?”

Kihyun could see Shownu tense, see the grip of his hands on the railing increase, just a fraction, just enough.

God, he hated this. He hated this tension in the air, the collective fear nobody wanted to talk about. What he hated most, though, was feeling like they were all blaming it on him.

“I know you care, Kihyun, no one’s saying you’re not. But this is--This is _Jooheon_ ,” he said, and looked at Kihyun, and Kihyun had to straighten his back and bite his tongue in order not to talk back immediately. “And this is Gunhee. And I’m sorry, but you have no idea what Jooheon must be going through right now.”

 _No_ , Kihyun thought, _no, actually, I don’t. And maybe I’m kind of glad about that._

Of course, he didn’t say it out loud.

“Let’s just get this over with,” he murmured, finally walking inside the house, up the stairs and turning immediately to the left, entering his room that was, fortunately, empty. Wonho had a thing lately for hanging out in his room, probably because Shownu had told him he should make an effort in distracting Kihyun from the things he would be doing instead if he was alone--and it consisted mostly of making plans for attacks and writing lists of all of the things they would have to look out for on their next mission. It was his way of dealing with things. Minhyuk clung onto Shownu like moss on a tree, Shownu held him up like he had infinite strength, Wonho put even more effort into his training like he wanted to achieve infinite strength, Jooheon slept for most of the day, even though it was a secret to Kihyun how he did it, and Kihyun, well, he made plans.

Because plans meant organisation, and organisation meant less ways to die once they decided to actually get out of here and let themselves be vulnerable.

Kihyun had never been a big fan of vulnerability.

“Minhyuk, where the fuck is my jacket?” Kihyun called out, searching through his closet and his small bag of belongings that had long become more like the belongings of the whole damn group. Still, he hated it when the others took his things. Mostly because they didn’t seem to find the goddamn time to just _ask_.

It took a few seconds for Minhyuk to peak through the door--probably the time he had needed to detach himself from Shownu and get up the stairs. He looked almost innocent. Almost. “Your jacket?”

Kihyun sighed. “Yeah, my goddamn jacket. The _jacket_ with my _gun_ because I still suck at archery since I checked five minutes ago, if you want to know so badly.”

Minhyuk pressed his lips together. “Your gun is on the table in the kitchen. I didn’t want to give it to Jooheon.”

“Joo--?” Kihyun stopped in the middle of his sentence, his features softening. “He wanted to wear my jacket?”

Minhyuk looked away, like the sole action of voicing his next words was taking an immense effort for him. “Yeah. Gunhee wore it before we went on the mission because it was so cold. D’you remember?”

Kihyun didn’t want to continue the thought creeping up inside of his mind. Minhyuk’s words were already painful enough. “Let him wear it, then.”

 

\---

 

Jooheon didn’t say a single word for the entire ride. It wasn’t far. An hour, an hour and a half, maybe, but it felt so… _Full_. Full of silence. Full of words nobody wanted to say. Kihyun just couldn’t look at anything else than the way Jooheon was pulling his jacket so tightly around himself, like he wanted it to be part of him, protect him. Jooheon gripped at the weathered material of his sleeve the way he always used to grip Gunhee’s hand. But Kihyun could see, in the way his features would scrunch up, the way he’d swallow, that there lay no assurance there, not like there always had in the hand of the person he loved. 

“We’re almost there,” Shownu said, and Kihyun knew the time for silence was over.

“Pretty shitty weather they have here,” he decided to say, not knowing if he was trying to take the pressure off of himself or Jooheon. Either way, he would’ve liked for the other to focus on something else right now, but that seemed impossible judging by the way Wonho and Minhyuk turned around to look at him.

Kihyun suppressed a sigh--these days he felt like sighing every two seconds--and pulled out the plan he had tried to draw onto thin paper they had found a few months ago in the copy room of one of the schools that weren’t used anymore. The sketchy lines were messy and not measured exactly, but it was the most he could do.

“What Kihyun _meant_ to say was that I managed to get into the system two days ago”, Minhyuk explained right next to him. “Let me tell you, their firewall is no joke, but I’ve been working on the code for a few months, so it wasn’t that much of a problem.” Kihyun could see in Minhyuk’s glance that he hadn’t expected them to get here that early, either. It had been everything but their original plan.

“Okay so…” Minhyuk leaned over to carry on explaining. “Basically, their system is really advantageous for us. So, tell me, campers! What do we have that vampires don’t?” Minhyuk asked, like he actually expected an answer.

Of course, nobody answered.

“A heartbeat, you absolute _morons_ \--anyway, so, they keep humans out with sensors and shit, like, heat sensors and all that--I’ve told you guys, this? Was nobody listening to me?”

“Minhyuk, you talk _so much_ **,** ” Kihyun whined, a smirk on his face.

“We listened, Minhyuk,” Wonho said, staring out the window. “We’re just waiting for you to get to a point.”

Minhyuk glared at Wonho, before putting on a bright ( _murderous?_ ) smile and continuing. “Anyway, I hacked the sensors. I can see how many humans are inside the building.”

Jooheon perked up, curiosity and fear evident in his eyes, and Minhyuk looked up at him.

“Are there?” Jooheon asked, voice small, desperate.

Kihyun couldn’t even look at him. There just had to be; Minhyuk would’ve told them if there weren’t, right? It had to be this clan; when Gunhee had been taken away a week ago, the memory as clear in his mind as if it had happened but a moment ago, the vampires had carried the sign of this clan on their clothes and guns. Geometric lines of silver woven into each other. In the frenetic hours following the snatch, when they had been going through the list of known clan sigils they had, they had prayed for it to be everything but the royal clan, but of course **,** luck hadn’t been on their side.

Not only had Gunhee been taken by vampires, but by the fucking monarchy of bloodsuckers.

Under normal circumstances, Kihyun would’ve rather cut his own hand off than set foot onto the territory of the royal vampires. Out of all the clans they weren’t _only_ the most dangerous and bloodthirsty, but the most powerful, the ones they all always swore they’d avoid at all costs. Out of all the clans, fate had chosen _them_.

Except fate didn’t exist, but Kihyun didn’t think about that.

But this wasn’t about him; sadly. If it had been, Kihyun could’ve pretended he didn’t care how this turned out. But with Jooheon being on the edge of crying just from trying not to get his hopes up for Minhyuk’s answer, Kihyun didn’t really have a choice.

“Yes,” Minhyuk said, and Jooheon gripped his own sleeve so hard Kihyun wondered if it would leave a bruise on his arm. “One.”

Wonho pulled Jooheon closer, a strong arm around his shoulders.

“We’re going in at noon so they should all be asleep, but we can’t rely on that,” Shownu said, stopping the car. Kihyun looked out of the window. It was an alleyway, just large enough for the car, and Kihyun wondered if the route Minhyuk and him had planned was good enough to get closer to where they needed to go, undetected. If they actually were undetected.

The city borders itself didn’t possess any human sensors; either the vampires’ technology wasn’t developed enough for such an immensely big system yet, or they just wanted to lure humans into their territory. Either way, it was an advantage for them. Entering the city had been the first step to get closer to their destination, even though they were at a constant danger of being spotted now. Just one glance into their eyes would be enough to recognise them as humans.

“I’ll quickly hack into their system,” Minhyuk explained, reaching behind him and pulling out his laptop from his bag. It looked like it was broken, sides gaping open and hard drive hanging out, screen cracked at the edges, but that was probably on purpose. Kihyun didn’t remember when exactly Minhyuk had stolen all of his equipment from the vampires, it must’ve been a mission years ago, but without it, they surely wouldn’t have been able to come so far.

“Kihyun and I worked on a map,” Minhyuk explained, pointing at the paper in Kihyun’s lap.

Kihyun shrugged, smoothing out the paper on his lap. “He got the map, and I worked on it.”

“ _Like I said_ , Kihyun and I worked on a map. It’s an old blueprint of what the building looked like before it got vamped, and it should still be… relatively the same.”

Wonho leaned forwards. “Right, we talked about how we’d get in… Did,” Wonho looked up, eyes glancing between Jooheon and the rest of the group. “Did we decide who would, uhm.”

“I’m going with Jooheon,” Kihyun said, looking at Wonho, whose eyes quickly darted down. “And you.”

They had talked about this without Jooheon last night, as he had already been sleeping; wherever Gunhee was, it wouldn’t be easy to get to him, and they definitely needed three people to look for him in case the others were occupied with keeping the vampires off them on their way there. Needless to say, Wonho would be useful in fighting them off from a short distance, and he possessed the best sense of direction out of all of them. Kihyun didn’t have any other choice than to tag along, and he wouldn’t have wanted it any different. No way in hell Shownu would let go of Minhyuk, and Minhyuk was way too emotional to keep on fighting if something might have happened to Gunhee.

Jooheon took a deep breath, nodded, and picked up his gun. “We’re getting him out of there.”

Everyone nodded. Wonho stared out the window without a word.

 

 

\---

 

 

“I thought you knew how to hack into a goddamn system, Minhyuk.”

An annoyed sigh from his right.

“I swear to God, you have no idea how strong this firewall is. It was a wonder I broke it the _first_ time, a second time isn’t automatically easier, Mr Know-It-All. It’s a firewall, and that means it changes its pattern of coding whenever someone actually manages to turn if off. It’s not as _dumb_ as some people because it’s a computer. Now, I’d be incredibly glad if you would let me do my job.”

“No, it’s fine, don’t mind me, just a bit _tense_ ,” Kihyun gritted out. “Can’t see why I would be, standing outside a building crawling with fucking _royal vampires_.”

“Shut,” Minhyuk typed. “Up,” Minhyuk pressed a button, and grinned. “See? I’m a genius.”

Wonho peered over Minhyuk’s shoulder. The screen in front of Minhyuk illuminated their faces with blue light, numbers and letters in wild combinations in front of their eyes that none of them could quite understand - except for Minhyuk. Only the map in the upper right corner gave them some sense of direction, a red point being stuck somewhere on it. Gunhee.

“They haven’t moved him. The plan doesn’t change.” Wonho glanced up at Shownu. “Are you serious about being a distraction? That’s almost literally a death wish.”

Kihyun looked over to see Shownu straightening his shoulders, seeming to ignore the way Minhyuk’s shoulders immediately tensed at Wonho’s words. “I don’t see any other way to get you in there. If we all go down the route Minhyuk planned, it’s much more likely they send a whole wave of vampires down there that eliminate us before we can even get close to Gunhee.”

“Besides,” Minhyuk chirped, throwing one more glance Shownu’s way before focusing on his screen again. “We’ll be quick. We’re not so much a distraction as distracting.”

“But you’ll have to be quick, too,” Shownu added as they all nodded,  Jooheon fidgeting restlessly. “I don’t know how long Minhyuk can keep you off the system without them noticing anything.”

“After having initiated the program… Twenty minutes. Tops twenty minutes.”

Shownu nodded. “Right. Go in, get him, and leave. Understood?”

Jooheon seemed way too anxious to respond, so Kihyun nodded, looking at Wonho with determination in his eyes. _Twenty minutes_ , his mind was screaming at him, _twenty minutes was nothing_.

But it was all they had.

What would happen if they didn’t make it in time… Kihyun didn’t even want to think about that.

The only thing he could hope for, at least, was that they wouldn’t _keep him_. That they’d kill him and get it over with. That they wouldn’t keep him in some room to be fed on and used until they got sick of him. That they’d kill him, and that he’d stay dead.

Because he couldn’t think of anything worse than being used, or being turned into one of them… To be turned against and away from all the people he cared for.

“Let’s do this”, he said, trying to make himself sound like he actually believed they would make it. He had to believe it. “Minhyuk, give us the start signal. When will the firewall break down?”

“I’m in," Minhyuk responded, standing up, knees cracking slightly from kneeling on the floor for so long, and opened his backpack, ready to put his laptop inside again. “I can make it collapse at any time. Well, until they notice the virus. Program. Whatever. But once they do, we are _fucked_. So we should really get going.”

Kihyun looked up, and the sun was right above them, shining onto ruins. The building itself was rather unspectacular; after the virus had broken out so many years, decades ago, it had taken a while for it to be used again. It wasn’t like vampires had been inhabiting the cities since forever; just around twenty years ago, as Kihyun knew from people he had talked to, they had decided to take control of everything. And with everything, he meant _everything_.

Resources. Water, food, electricity, the Internet, every goddamn thing on Earth seemed to be controlled by them. It was almost ironic that they took so much care of hoarding nourishment that didn’t even bare any benefit for them. They drank blood, and only blood. They didn’t _need_ to keep such a close eye on the food, but of course, it was a trap. Of course it was a fucking trap. (And most people got desperate enough to risk everything for a packet of ramen.)

Unfortunately, their only source of blood were humans. Kihyun wondered, sometimes, what it was about human blood that they needed. Was cow blood or, or fucking horse blood or whatever the hell else just not good enough for them? Was it a snob thing? Or could they actually, genuinely, only drink human blood?

And, of course, because no human being would ever let any of those monsters voluntarily feed on them, they had had to take further actions. Actions that went further than Kihyun would ever be comfortable imagining, and the sole thought of what they could be doing to Gunhee right now made Kihyun’s blood boil in his veins.

It had been a long time since he had sworn to himself he’d kill every single one of them. It had been a long time ago, but that didn’t mean his hate had diminished.

It would’ve been easier if they weren’t so damn _wealthy_. Their control over everything meant a lot of hardships in their fight against them, and this goddamn building was just one of them. From the outside, it looked just like any skyscraper. But Kihyun knew what to expect inside. Technology, wires, traps and a whole load of fucking bloodsuckers trying to get their hands on humans. On him. On his friends.

Well, they wouldn’t. Not this time.

“Kihyun?”

Kihyun blinked, shook his head, nodded. “I’m ready.”

“That’s what I’m counting on, considering you’ll probably have to kill a whole horde of them in a few seconds. I’m going to shut it down, and then we have to go in. On three, okay.”

Wonho sheathed the long, thin katana he treasured more than almost anything else, and held it close to him. Kihyun couldn’t deny it reassured him immensely they had found it several missions ago; Wonho might be good with his fists, but even his knuckles couldn’t be compared to a sharp blade.

“One.”

Kihyun felt his heart try to climb into his throat, and he took a deep breath, feeling the coldness of the gun against his fingers. It was one of the only things that reassured him, the metal rubbing against the leather of his gloves, his fingers peeking out at the top, gloves only coming up to his knuckles.

“Two.”

Jooheon prayed. Silently, to himself, but Kihyun could see the way his lips moved.

“Three.”

 

 

\---

 

 

“Fuck!”

“ _Wonho_ , _quiet--_ ”

Wonho must have bit his tongue, cursing silently. “It’s too quiet. Where _are_ they?” 

“You’re complaining about a lack of vampires?” Jooheon hissed.

“In the middle of a vampire den, yeah!”

“I hate to say it, but you’re right.” Kihyun squinted, trying to look through the darkness. It was unfair, so incredibly unfair that vampires could see without light, whereas normal humans were stuck in pitch black darkness. The darkness inside this cellar--Kihyun supposed, as they had climbed down at least three staircases by now, even though the building was a skyscraper--was darker than anything he’d ever seen, and he couldn’t help thinking that the air was as thick as dripping ink on purpose. Like it was being black just to spite him.

Kihyun would have given anything for a goddamn flashlight, but they hadn’t managed to find any batteries in time. Although Kihyun doubted there were any more to find. Getting Minhyuk’s laptop charged was one hell of a challenge, Minhyuk’s continuous noisy complaints not even included.

“Maybe Shownu is just really good at being a distraction. It was kind of the point of the distraction,” Jooheon said, before groaning in frustration. “I don’t _care,_ can we please just find him and leave?”

“No matter whether we’ve been noticed by now or Shownu is just incredible at his job, Jooheon is right, we need to get going,” Kihyun responded. “Minhyuk told us what way to go. God, Wonho, for the sake of our lives, just tell me you actually remember the description of the map, because as far as I know we could be in the middle of the lobby right now, given that we can’t see shit down here, you included.”

“I remember. Come on, it’s just through here.”

And so Wonho led them in silence, and Kihyun heard nothing, heard no one. He stopped, blood suddenly solid ice in his veins.

“They’re just playing with us,” Kihyun suddenly whispered, the grip around his gun tightening with a sudden, sharp flash of insight. “Fuck, they know perfectly well we can’t see a thing. It doesn’t matter where we go. They know we’re here.”

“If Shownu did his job, and Minhyuk’s program works, they _don’t_ know we’re here,” Jooheon insisted, but his voice shook slightly in the dark. Fuck, Kihyun could only see… shapes. The idea of a wall from the solid blackness there, instead of light and dark shifting in front of him in what could be a hallway, a person, an enemy.

And he knew that, really, the shapes he _could_ see might as well be in his imagination, given that he shouldn’t be able to see _anything_ in this darkness. It was the same as when you put your hand in front of your eyes in a dark cave. Your brain knew it was there, so it made a vaguely hand-shaped shadow in front of your eyes, but… you couldn’t really see anything. Except, here, Kihyun was fairly sure it _was_ only hallucinations and images his brain was placing in front of him.

And suddenly, like a lit match, Kihyun got angry. It always happened to him, no matter what mission they were on. He was good at controlling himself, his temper, until something happened and he just _snapped_ . And this was it; this uncertainty, knowing that they were just using them as toys, probably waiting to take them as prisoners for even more blood was making Kihyun feel so _sick_ , the same sickness in his chest as all this time ago, when all of this had started.

Back then, he had been too young to fight back. Right now, he wasn’t anymore.

“I know you’re here!” he called out, and could hear both Wonho and Jooheon hold their breath at the same time. “I know you’re here, so come out and _fight_ , you cowards!”

It was silent for a second; maybe even two, three, Kihyun didn’t bother to count. His fingers twitched around the trigger, his left hand reaching for the knife between his belt and jeans, even though Shownu was always telling him he was horrible with his left hand, and Minhyuk would insist he couldn’t aim, he couldn’t even master enough force to make the blade disappear in a vampire’s crystal hard skin--

“Well,” Wonho said. “Guess they definitely know we’re here now.”

Something pushed onto Kihyun from his right side, a dark shadow, making his body crash into the nearest wall. Kihyun’s reactions were fast, but not fast enough; his knife glided through thin air as he tried hitting whoever had touched him, but his attention was drawn to Jooheon, his high-pitched scream echoing through the room, even his voice muffled by the darkness.

“Ki--” Wonho cried out, a noise of something falling down onto the floor. Kihyun still couldn’t see a thing, fuck, where were the others, where was--

Something fell onto his shoulder, and for a second he thought part of the ceiling had broken in, but the kick to his side that followed convinced him otherwise; it wasn’t hard enough to made him collapse, and this time he pulled out his gun. The shot was so incredibly loud in his ears that he stumbled backwards, the back of his arms meeting a cold concrete wall behind him. He couldn’t even see if he had managed to hit his attacker, anxiety rising in his chest with every passing second--

He bit down on his lip, trying to muffle every breath although it was useless; he couldn’t remember which way he had come from, but the others had to be somewhere. He imagined hearing Wonho breathing (vampires didn’t _breathe_ ) from somewhere behind him and was already about to call out his name as a series of loud noises could be heard.

Someone groaned, the sound of a punch resonated in the room, noises spilling out of mouths Kihyun couldn’t make out. He stumbled forward, the pain in his side so dull it was barely noticeable and he didn’t even have the time to ask himself why the hell they hadn’t just stabbed him or shot him or done anything, anything--

“Kihyun!” The voice was right next to his ear as Wonho crashed into him, making both of them meet the wall, a groan following his action. Kihyun reached out for Wonho, feeling a strand of the other’s soft hair gliding through his fingers, heartbeat only calming down ever so slightly. “I got the two of them, where is--”

“Here,” a quiet voice called out from somewhere on their left side, trembling in fear. A few moments passed, Wonho’s shoulder pressed against Kihyun, until any of them dared to voice a word.

“I guess there were only two”, Kihyun whispered, although he couldn’t be sure. There was no way to be sure. He could just assume, for Jooheon’s sake. “You are goddamn efficient, Wonho, _Jesus_.”

“We don’t have much time,” Jooheon said, voice still shaking, and Wonho pulled Kihyun up.

“I think I know--Yeah, this way. It should be this way.”

Kihyun had neither the time nor the nerve to think anymore about how Wonho could still know where to go, why the vampires hadn’t just knocked him out or why he wasn’t stumbling over any unconscious or dead bodies, because the next second, Wonho was already helping Jooheon up and pulling them further down the hallway.

Jooheon’s hand was cold in his as Kihyun followed the two of them, Jooheon between them as Wonho was touching the wall for help of orientation.

Kihyun blinked. As they walked, he could have sworn--

“Is that a light?”

“Why would they--”  
  
“Kihyun, the room, I think Gunhee’s--” 

Wonho couldn’t finish his sentence before Jooheon was rushing towards the slither of vertical light. Kihyun could feel the air practically vibrating around them, his eyes focusing on the light in the dark, although his mind was telling him something was strange. This wasn’t a cell door, yet Wonho’s grip on his hand was tight enough to tell him they had reached their destination as he reached out for Kihyun, trying to run after Jooheon.

They caught up to him in the same moment he reached for the door handle, his fingers shivering in the dim light that suddenly seemed so bright in Kihyun’s eyes he could barely see.

And then, Jooheon pulled the door open, and Kihyun couldn’t see past the light that blinded his dark-accustomed eyes.

Kihyun blinked, squinting into the room. And that’s exactly what it was, a _room_. Kihyun wasn’t sure what he had expected, but this wasn’t even close. The walls weren’t blood stained concrete, but covered in wallpaper and portraits. It wasn’t dark. Clearly, it wasn’t, but the room looked soft, almost, in the light of so many candles placed almost strategically around it.

But most importantly, there was no Gunhee crawled up in the corner of a murky cell, but instead a boy draped over velvet sheets, dressed in white, pale as a ghost, eyes fluttering and his skin in shocking contrast to the black hair that fell over it.

Jooheon stood next to Kihyun and opened his mouth, and Kihyun could see words wanting to spill out, but they didn’t, or maybe they were just too silent to be audible to Kihyun’s ears. But he knew what Jooheon wanted to ask, to say. He wanted to ask where Gunhee was, because he wasn’t here.

There was only one human in this building besides them. And this was where they were supposed to be. This was where Gunhee was supposed to be.

And if this wasn’t Gunhee, Gunhee wasn’t here.

If this wasn’t Gunhee, this boy was the only other heartbeat they would find.

It was almost as if Kihyun could hear not only his but all the other heartbeats in the room; or maybe his was so loud that he mistook it for four. He was caught standing in the doorway, almost unable to move, his limbs frozen. At least until the boy in front of them moved ever so slightly; his legs sliding over the blanket, hair shifting on the mattress as he seemed to squirm.

“Don’t…”

It took a second for Kihyun to register that the voice belonged to the boy on the bed. It sounded far away, broken and soft and pleading and he was confused, confused about why this was a bedroom, about what this boy was doing here and who he was, he was confused but God, he was angry.

“Who is this?” Wonho was the first one to break the silence, and Kihyun almost flinched, his gaze not once shifting away from the boy. It was like all of his attention, every single piece of it was drawn to his body, and as a soft whimper left the boy’s lips, Kihyun took a cautious step forward.

He didn’t know why he was scared; this boy was human, he had to be human, according to Minhyuk, but he still felt anxiousness rise in his chest like something would happen the moment he got close to him. The fear was almost suffocating the anger inside of him, the anger he almost always felt, the anger towards the vampires and especially towards the fact this wasn’t Gunhee.

Yet, as he let his eyes wander over the figure on the bed, looking so delicate, so fragile with his skin resembling the color of his pale white robe, his heart skipped a beat; and then, as his glance met the red mark on the boy’s arm that was unmistakably dried blood, his heart dropped.

He searched for words on his tongue, looking up at Wonho’s wide eyes, but he didn't know what to say to him, or to this poor boy. And so he took a step forward, and another, slowly approaching the bed until he was just half a feet away from him, his hand able to reach out and touch the boy **,** if he had wanted to. From close up, he could see the bluish veins on the boy’s skin.

The boy turned his head, hooded, tired eyes barely open as he looked at Kihyun, whimpering softly. “I can’t… Please…”

Kihyun felt something shiver and bloom into life inside of his chest, an almost unnoticeable pain. Seeing the boy in front of him begging like this, his body so weak he was barely able to move, blood on his skin, was making Kihyun feel a whole different pain than he had ever experienced before.

The boy turned his head away, lips almost blue as they trembled. He held up his arm, even as it shook, palm up and wrist exposed.

Kihyun almost choked on his own breath, his hands trembling so much he gripped his gun harder, anything to hold onto. The marks on the boy’s wrist were deep, scars that obviously weren’t there since yesterday. Scars that must have lingered because of a long, long time of pain. And here he was, probably thinking that Kihyun was one of them. That he was just here to use the kid past his limits. Too weak to put up any sort of fight beyond just begging for them not to kill him. Something inside Kihyun felt like breaking.

“Oh, God,” Wonho breathed, Jooheon’s hands coming up over his mouth. “Kihyun, we don’t have time, we have to go--”

“We can’t leave him,” Kihyun responded, his voice cracking, oh, ever so slightly. “We can’t leave him here, I won’t--I won’t leave him here.”

“I wasn’t suggesting that we do,” Wonho said, voice even as he swallowed.

“Where is Gunhee?” Jooheon’s voice made Kihyun turn around, noticing the anxious, painful expression on his face. He looked like he was about to faint. “We need to find Gunhee, I won’t leave this fucking place without him--”

“Jooheon!” Jooheon jumped at Wonho’s voice, the older’s hands coming up to grip at his shoulders. “Minhyuk said one. Gunhee’s not here. But we can’t ever find him if we don’t make it out of here.”

“H-He has to be here!” Jooheon called out, talking so fast he was swallowing syllables. “How d-do we even know it’s human?! Maybe he’s a vampire! How should we even know he is the human Minhyuk talked about?!”

The boy on the bed shifted, arm shaking before it fell limp at his side, a frown on his face before his eyes fell shut.

Kihyun turned around, alarmed by the movement in the corner of his eye, his chest tightening as he noticed the boy must have fainted. Shit, this was bad. This was absolutely fucking sickening. Kihyun had known that vamps treated humans like this but… There was a difference between knowing something, and seeing it right in front of you. Taking another step forward, breaching the distance between him and the bed, he gently reached out for the boy, his fingers shivering so hard he had to lean down and concentrate to carefully pull up the boy’s eyelid, noticing his eye color was a deep brown, almost black. He’d definitely fainted. Kihyun’s fingers twitched like he had received an electric shock.

“Jooheon, he has to be, _please_.” Kihyun’s voice sounded a lot more desperate than he had intended.

“Wonho, I can’t leave if he’s here. I can’t.”

“He’s not, Jooheoney. Please.”

Jooheon breathed a deep, shaking sigh, his nod minute. Wonho nodded, but Kihyun could see the hand on Jooheon’s shoulder shaking as he let it fall.

“Kihyun, you have to carry him.”

“I--” Kihyun didn’t know what he had wanted to say, but he couldn’t explain why his voice was so weak all of a sudden. “I can … Okay. Help me get him on my back. He fainted, he’s dead weight.”

Wonho took a few steps towards them, his breath hitching in his throat as he looked at the boy’s figure, the shock evident in his features. “I don’t want to hurt him,” he whispered. “God, he has so many wounds, I mean, where should I--”

“We don’t have the time,” Kihyun muttered, biting his lip as he felt sickness welling up in his stomach. “He won’t feel it. Don’t worry about that for now, just help me.”

Wonho tried holding the boy, and Kihyun reached out, instinctively, like it would help at all. The kid’s arms were limp and his head lolled and Kihyun turned away to let Wonho put him on his back.

His heart clenched painfully in his chest as he settled the boy across his back, as he noticed just how light he actually was, how little he must weigh; bones were almost sticking out from beneath his skin, pressing into Kihyun’s back uncomfortably as he hooked his arms around the boy’s knees, trying not to be too preoccupied with the way his skin was so cold under his fingers or how thin the kid’s arms were. The kid’s chin was resting on his shoulder, and Kihyun found comfort in the shallow, shaking breaths that ghosted over his skin.

He didn’t know why he was shivering so much, or why he was feeling so sick all of a sudden; he didn’t understand why the boy’s appearance shook him up this much. Maybe it was the way he seemed so broken, the way his lashes had fluttered looking at Kihyun through hooded eyes. Maybe it was because he’d seen it before. But now wasn’t the time to think about that. They needed to get out of here.

 

 

\---

 

 

Shownu held his breath, and his hand over Minhyuk’s mouth, back against a wall as he waited for the sound to die out. Everything in this empty cellar sounded so loud in his ears that it was hard to distinguish whether the footsteps were just a few inches or several hallways away. The blood on his clothes had started to dry, an uncomfortable itch setting in on his skin. He’d made sure it wasn’t Minhyuk’s at least ten times by now, but that didn’t mean Minhyuk was fine. Shownu still felt like he should’ve done more to protect them--if he had, they wouldn’t be sitting here now, trying to be invisible and having no idea how to get out of this alive. 

The footsteps echoed down hallways they could barely see. Minhyuk had been thrown against the window, dislodging one of the shutters. The light seemed almost like a beacon, a way for the vampires to find them as easily as food on a plate, but it was also the only place Shownu felt safe. Sunlight didn’t hurt them or kill them, but it might give Shownu just enough of an advantage to be able to fight them off, blind them or disorientate them long enough for him to get them out of there.

It was their only hope. He looked down, Minhyuk’s eyes struggling to stay open.

“Stay awake for me, baby? Okay? Just a little longer.”

Minhyuk’s eyes opened, just slightly, just enough. Shownu had no idea how hurt the back of his head was, exactly, but he imagined having felt something wet on his fingers earlier. Either way, it made his chest tighten painfully. There was a reason he never left Minhyuk’s side on missions like these, goddamn, he should’ve been more careful, paying more attention to their right side instead of focusing on the vampires in front of him--

“What are you doing here?”

Shownu’s head snapped up, the arm not cradling Minhyuk shaking as he held a large knife in his hand. The voice must have come from--fucking hell, Shownu couldn’t see anything, but there was definitely a figure standing in the fringes of the light.

Had they sounded annoyed, just then?

He squinted his eyes, grip around the knife tightening. Possibilities were rushing through his head; there was no way he was going to answer, giving their position away this easily. He was pretty sure the vampire knew exactly where they were hiding, but that didn’t mean Shownu would give him any more help. The last he wanted was to fight against even one more of them.

Because, if truth to be told, Shownu didn’t know if they would survive even one more vampire right now.

“You have to get out of here, they’re going to--”

More footsteps. Rushing now, and definitely closer. The figure shifted, turning towards the sound, and Shownu caught a glimpse of the vampire that would probably be their death, and almost cursed out loud, because _really_ , did the damn bloodsucker have to be so pretty? It was one of their many… Well, you could call them abilities. Their beauty was enough to lure a human to his grave with just a bat (no pun intended) of their lashes. Although, Shownu thought, he doubted there was anyone left in this world that would change sides just because of marble skin and red, plump lips. They all knew the fangs hidden behind those were sharp and more than painful, and Shownu definitely didn’t fancy becoming its next meal.

The vampire glanced at them, before walking away.

Shownu froze, sweat beading on the nape of his neck.

“Hurry up, you blind idiots,” the vampire said, just close enough for it to be audible. “They’re probably already at the exit by now.”

For a single, shocked second, Shownu contemplated whether it was possible that the tall figure in front of them was a human; but, after another second’s hesitation, Shownu shook his head. That was impossible, because he looked just like a vampire. If his features hadn’t already told Shownu, it would’ve been the red shimmer in his eyes as the light glided over them. It just **...** didn’t make the tiniest bit of sense of why a vampire would actually try to … help them? It was **…** unexpected, to say the least.

Minhyuk whined, softly, like he was trying not to, and Shownu had just enough time to decide that one random vampire’s loyalties didn’t matter. Not really. Not now. He scooped Minhyuk up in his arms, and ran, as the footsteps hurried off, in the opposite direction. To where this vampire had directed them to go. Even if it had been a lie, it was better than running straight into his arms. Minhyuk wasn’t able to fight in a condition like this and there was no way in hell Shownu would leave him behind.

Unfortunately, away from the thin ray of light, there was now total darkness enveloping them. Minhyuk was murmuring something against the sleeve of his jacket, but Shownu’s steps on the concrete floor were too loud to decipher his words. He didn’t even dare to answer, too afraid to give their position away to other vampires that wouldn’t be as sympathetic as the last one.

He already felt like something wasn’t right as he passed the next hallway, using his elbows to determine where the walls were and trying not to run straight into one. His feelings were confirmed when suddenly, something hit him from his right side and he was shoved against the next wall, Minhyuk groaning in his arms as they almost fell down.

Hands were reaching for him, a voice almost crying. “S-Shownu?”

“Jooheon,” Shownu breathed in relief. “Oh, thank God, Minhyuk’s hurt, is Wonho with you--I don’t know where to go--”

He swallowed, calming his voice, feeling how the hands grabbing at him were shaking.

“I can lead us, but we have to hurry,” Wonho said, and Shownu felt Jooheon pull him along, forward. “We only have two minutes left--”

“Did you find him?”

Jooheon’s grip tightened. Immediately, Shownu knew something wasn’t right. But this wasn’t the place to ask, not now, although he would’ve given everything to embrace Jooheon and tell him everything was okay. He couldn’t tell himself he hadn’t already expected something like this. Getting into the hands of vampires was easy, getting out of them wasn’t.

What confused him a lot more, however, were the limbs touching his side as he followed the others, lead by Wonho, their steps like explosions in the silence. Kihyun was carrying someone.

“No. No, he wasn’t here,” Jooheon said, voice small.

“Then who--”

Wonho kicked a door open, and Shownu couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this grateful to see something as menial as daylight.

He was blinded. Everyone was; he could see Wonho and Jooheon shielding their eyes from the bright light. Minhyuk buried his face in the fabric of Shownu’s shirt, and he himself was barely able to see more than shapes for the first few seconds. Then, everything slowly cleared up, and even as his vision was still restricted, shapes still starting to settle in front of his eyes, they started running.

 

 

\---

 

 

Kihyun was trying to breathe, although the function of his lungs felt restricted. The way to the car felt so long, his legs hurting like they were about to give out. He prayed for the boy on his back to wake up to spare his poor legs and to stay unconscious simultaneously, but then, before Kihyun had to make the decision whether or not to ask Wonho for help, they had already reached their destination, and Wonho pulled the door of the car open, and helped him get the boy inside, before jumping in after him.

Kihyun paid attention to putting the kid down carefully, to make sure he wouldn’t hit his head if the car hit a bump or Shownu had to drive fast. He looked so goddamn fragile, his lips shaking even as he was unconscious, body leaning against Kihyun’s on the backseat. Even his skin was cold, so cold, like he hadn’t felt warmth for a long, long time.

He put an arm around the kid’s thin shoulders, steadying him there.

Shownu was driving like a maniac, doing his best to get them out of the city as fast as possible, not even sparing a glance to the inside mirror. Minhyuk was being held by Jooheon in front of them. Wonho, however, was observing the kid, switching between looking at him and trying to console Jooheon. Kihyun did his best not to stare at the way tears were running down Jooheon’s face.

“At least we could save someone.”

Kihyun blinked, watching Wonho turn his head to Jooheon, who nodded.

“I know it’s not…” Jooheon took a deep breath. “Better. But he deserved being saved just as much as Gunhee di-- _does_. We’ll find him but we saved someone. So stop looking at me like that and make sure he makes it to the house, alright?”

Kihyun looked over at the kid; normally he was the one taking care of patching up the others if they were hurt, so he considered himself having at least some knowledge of medical stuff; but he didn’t dare to determine in what condition the boy was in. He was as pale as a sheet of paper, white as snow almost, lips a shade of blue which could only mean he had suffered severe blood loss. Hypothermia, too, probably **.** And although Kihyun didn’t want to think about it, he could guess what had happened. There was a reason why almost nobody who was caught in vampire territory ever saw the light of day again.

Pictures were flashing by the windows of the car, tall skyscrapers and other vehicles, wires and cables draped over the roofs of houses and a bike, half of an old newspaper, pieces of humanity left in between. The obnoxiously loud sound of Shownu turning the car to the right and left was like a scream in Kihyun’s ears.

Shownu was saying something to Wonho, but the only thing Kihyun could focus on was the kid’s weak breath on his wrist as he held him close to his body. His skin was so clammy that Kihyun felt the need to at least give him some type of warmth. Finally **,** he decided to lay his fingers onto the side of the boy’s neck, trying to find his pulse.

He could feel dried blood and wounds beneath his fingertips, quickly erasing whatever doubt Kihyun could have still had. Trying not to press down with too much force, he felt the blood rushing in his ears as he found it; it was weak, slow, almost not noticeable, like it would disappear any second, and Kihyun’s breath hitched in his throat.

“Shit…” he whispered, more to himself than to anyone else, but Wonho looked up.

“What’s with him?” he asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “Is he waking up?”

Kihyun shook his head, his shoulders suddenly feeling tense. “At this rate, I’m not sure he will.”

“He has to,” Jooheon said, running a hand through Minhyuk’s hair, keeping him awake.

“Do we still have enough medicine from the last trip I went on for resources?” Wonho asked, hands twitching in his lap like he was about to reach out for the kid, but didn’t dare to.

“We should,” Kihyun said, keeping his fingers on the kid’s pulse. ”But all we can really do for the kid is give him food and make sure he rests. It’s not like we have blood transfusion at our disposal.” Kihyun paused, hand on the boy’s arm moving up and down. To comfort the kid or himself, he wasn’t sure. “What happened to Minhyuk? Does he have any open wounds? Jooheon, tell me what you see.”

He was trying to think of the medicine they had left. Wonho had come back without injuries last time, he almost always did, it was a wonder he had never gotten in trouble ever since he had persuaded Shownu to let him get water and whatever food available on his own, because those trips were safer with just one person. The last time he’d actually had to take care of someone had been with Jooheon a week or two ago … when all of that stuff with Gunhee had happened.

“No open wounds,” Jooheon explained, and it was like they could hear a collective sigh of relief. “There’s just a bump on the back of his head, I think it’s a concussion or something like that. Kihyun?”

“Yeah, probably.” Kihyun just nodded. “He just needs to lie down and not move too much. I’ll give him some pain killers.”

They sat in silence, the same silence they’d had on their way in. He watched the trees fly past, and Kihyun would have said something about the fact that petrol was incredibly difficult to find so Shownu shouldn’t be speeding like this, but he could hardly blame him, with the incredibly concerned looks he’d thrown over his shoulder, the way Jooheon continuously had to assure him that Minhyuk was still awake, still alive.

Kihyun saw the shape of the place they’d decided to call home after what felt like an eternity of driving through deserted neighborhoods and over highways, and let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. Shownu stopped the car in the backyard, the motor of the car dying down quickly like it had just waited to be turned off.

Shownu was the first one to get out of the car, his actions hectic and hurried, opening the car door and taking Minhyuk out of Jooheon’s arms, Jooheon jumping out after him **.** Kihyun wanted to reach for the kid, but before he could even react, Wonho had already lifted him off the seat, motioning for Kihyun to get out too.

Kihyun didn’t know what it was, honestly, but something was pressing against his ribcage as he followed Wonho into the house, the only safe haven that existed for them. Something in his legs was itching him to walk faster, keep up with Wonho and make sure the boy’s pulse was still there. He dared to hope he would be able to take care of him, but first, his goddamn heart needed to continue beating.

They walked up the staircase, the old wood creaking beneath their feet. Kihyun’s room was on the left, and Wonho immediately turned towards it, almost stumbling over the doorstep as he laid the kid down on Kihyun’s so called bed, a blanket draped over a mattress on the floor.

Somehow, Kihyun noticed, everything had seemed so surreal before, back there in that deceptively normal looking room (if one expected to find a fully furnished bedroom in the cellar, that is) in the cellar of the hideout of a vampire clan, and even on the backseat of the car, with the world rushing by so fast it had been hard to form a coherent thought.

Now, though, in the safe space of his own bedroom, on the mattress he had spent so many nights on, the room he knew existed, was real, everything seemed to crash down on him quite suddenly, the reality of the situation pressing down on him **.** The boy that had been the sole prisoner of some vampires before, now laid on his blanket, a still living, breathing human.

“Get me the bag with medicine,” Kihyun told Wonho, falling down onto his knees next to the mattress, looking for whatever clothes he could find lying around on the floor. “And water. Tell Jooheon to heat some of the water up.”

Wonho nodded wordlessly; it had been a long time since they had decided it was Kihyun’s task to give the orders in moments like this, and the others were used to doing what he said without question by now. Kihyun could hear him leaving the room, and hurried to gather all clothes he could find. He didn’t own that many, but there was a warm blanket for cold winters in the back of his closet.

He shook the dust off and leaned down to wrap it around the boy. His eyes flickered between the kid’s lips and his fluttering eyelashes. Now, in the blinding daylight, his skin seemed even more like porcelain, soft hair falling over his eyes, which, even closed, Kihyun could see had dark rims under them. His lips were dry and almost blue, but full and parted, shallow, quick breaths passing through them. There were bruises on his neck, under his strong jawline, all the way to where the thin, white robe fell over his chest. Kihyun forced himself to look away.

Wonho came back with the first-aid kit (or at least the bag with all the medical supplies, which was as good a first-aid kit as they could muster), placing it next to Kihyun on the floor.

“Here,” Kihyun told him, pulling a box of pills out of it, “give them to Shownu. Minhyuk has to take them with water. But give him something to eat first, or else he’ll throw up.”

“Got it.”

The room was quiet without Wonho, the only sounds being the boy’s shallow breathing and Kihyun’s own, way too loud heartbeat in his ears. His hands were shaking as he looked through the bag, not really sure what he was looking for exactly--there really wasn’t anything he could do for the boy right now except for trying to keep him warm and giving him something to eat as soon as he woke up.

He reached for the blanket, pulling it up until it touched the kid’s chin, noticing how his lips parted in a shaky breath. Kihyun could feel something moving against his arm, and as he looked down he could see the boy’s fingers twitching, like he was reaching for something, or dreaming, maybe.

He opened his mouth, not really sure what to say, if to even say anything at all. He had no idea how to even speak to this boy--how long had he been down there, or what had happened to him, Kihyun had no idea. He just felt the need to show him he was safe now, but he wasn’t sure how he should be doing that. Kihyun could give him painkillers, water, food, but he had never had to take care of someone else in such manner.

He didn’t dare to move his hands, resting them on top of the blanket as he observed the way the boy’s features began to move, just slightly at first, and then more noticeably. The corners of his mouth were shifting, eyes moving behind the lids, lips shaking as he gasped for air. Kihyun’s fingers tightened around the fabric of the blanket, his heartbeat loud in his ears as the boy’s eyes opened.

And then, he was looking at Kihyun.

Kihyun froze, blanket feeling suddenly awkwardly clutched in his hand. The boys eyes widened in what was quite clearly panic. He moved up on the bed, limbs sluggish and weak, but fast, as he tried to get away from Kihyun. He pressed himself up against the wall, breaths coming too fast and eyes not leaving Kihyun’s eyes, breathing heavily and blinking rapidly, arms shaking.

Kihyun’s hands still shook, and he lifted them slightly before hurriedly lowering them again, belatedly realising that such a gesture might freak the boy out even more, his mouth opening and closing in an attempt to say something. He asked himself if he had done anything wrong, too overwhelmed with the situation to think clearly. He slowly raised his hand once more, letting it drop almost immediately after as he noticed how the boy’s eyes still widened in fear.

“Hey,” was the only thing coming out of his mouth, a helpless attempt to sound casual in this bizarre situation. The boy was looking at him like he was searching for something without finding it.

“Hey,” Kihyun repeated, nodding as if to reassure both of them. “You … You don’t have to be--”

Scared, he had wanted to say. But he didn’t get a chance to.

“You’re human?” the boy breathed out, like the words didn’t make sense, his voice shaking as he looked at Kihyun. “You’re… you’re actually human?”

Kihyun almost flinched at the sound of his voice. It was deep, but incredibly hoarse, like the boy hadn’t talked for a long time. He pressed the palms of his hands against his legs. The desperation and hope in the boy’s voice was making something inside of him hurt.

Kihyun nodded.

The boy sobbed. A dry, broken thing, as he moved forwards, towards Kihyun, arms shaking before collapsing under his own weight, onto Kihyun’s chest. Kihyun could feel the grip on the back of his jacket, fingertips digging into his skin. He was frozen for a second, unable to move as he felt the boy’s hair on his cheek, before he raised his arms and instinctively, without thinking about anything else, pulled him closer.

“I--” the kid said, shaking against his chest. “I haven’t heard anyone’s heartbeat in three years. You’re _warm_ ,” he whispered, voice breaking, arms trying their best to hold him even closer.

Kihyun’s heart dropped onto the floor. The boy in his arms seemed so fragile, so close to breaking irreparably, that he wasn’t sure where to touch him that it wouldn’t hurt. His hands were slowly wandering up and down the kid’s back, before he gently stroked his hair.

“It’s fine now,” he whispered, though he wasn’t so sure himself. “We won’t let you go there again. You’re staying with us. It’s--it’s okay.”

The kid’s breath hitched, he could feel it. His fingers gripped tighter, before falling slack. “Thank you. I’m--” He tried to push himself up, arms weak. “Oh god I’m sorry I just jumped you out of nowhere--”

“Don’t apologize.” It was the second time Kihyun was saying these words today, but suddenly they held so much more meaning. The hair between his fingers was so soft, almost calming to him, although it would’ve been the boy needing the reassurance. “What’s … what’s your name?”

The kid pulled away, swaying a little as he did. Kihyun kept a hand on his arm, stabilizing him, the look in the kid’s eyes something Kihyun wasn’t sure what to make of. He opened his mouth, lips parting around a word before pressing together again.

“What--What is it, what’s wrong?”

“Changkyun. I--My name, it’s Changkyun.”

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Changkyun.”

The name sounded soft on Kihyun’s tongue, light almost, like sugar on candy he hadn’t eaten for such a long time. He didn’t know why he repeated it, maybe to let the boy--  _ Changkyun  _ \--know that he had understood it, maybe to let himself know, or maybe it was all because of the way he …  _ Changkyun _ was looking at him.

“Yeah, that’s me. Haven’t said it in a  _ long-- _ ” Changkyun swayed, again, blinking rapidly before widening his eyes like he was trying his best not to faint. “While. I’m, er--I don’t feel too good.”

Kihyun felt himself freeze for a second. His hands were still holding Changkyun up, the grip around his arms growing tighter although he was trying his best not to press down too firmly, too afraid of what bruises could be lingering beneath the thin cloth. He looked around, eyes flickering over the closet and floor before landing on the mattress again.

“Lie down here,” he told the boy, his stomach letting him know just how terrified he was of doing something wrong, tilting his head towards the bed.

“You say that like I have--” Changkyun swayed backwards, landing with his back on the mattress with a muffled flop. “Choice.”

Kihyun’s jaw tensed. There wasn’t really much choice in what to do right now, considering the boy couldn’t even sit upright without Kihyun’s help; somehow, however, Kihyun would’ve liked to give him one. He sounded like he was used to not having a choice and somehow it broke Kihyun’s heart.

He tried to be careful, helping Changkyun to get his legs on the mattress, trying so hard not to notice how thin the other boy was. Changkyun let himself be moved without protest, although he was so weak Kihyun wasn’t sure he had much protest in him. This wasn’t really the moment for big discussions, Kihyun thought; he needed to think rationally, to think about what he could do to take the pain away. Because from the way Changkyun’s face scrunched as he tried turning his body on the mattress, Kihyun could tell there was a lot of it.

“Wha’s your name?” Changkyun asked, the words barely formed through tired, slowly pinkening lips. That was a relief, at least. 

Kihyun tried his best to wrap him into the blanket again without touching him. He had no idea if Changkyun would feel comfortable with that, or how much he really hurt. 

“Kihyun,” he answered, looking up into Changkyun’s eyes, half closed.

Changkyun… smiled. Softly, barely there, but he looked at Kihyun, and he smiled.

“Thanks for saving me, Kihyun...”

Kihyun felt a warm feeling rise in his chest. He searched for words to respond, but none of them seemed right, so he just smiled back, not missing the way Changkyun’s eyes lit up slightly.

“We need to get you warm,” he explained, robbing closer to the closet and almost sighing in relief as he spotted the only beanie he possessed in the back of one of the drawers. It was only the beginning of autumn, so he hadn’t needed it until now. He turned around again, leaning over Changkyun and trying his best to place the woolen hat on the boy’s head without moving him too much.

Changkyun let him, trying to lift his head a little, eyes not leaving Kihyun, half-closed and dazed. 

Out of instinct, without spending a second thought on it, Kihyun brushed a strand of hair out of Changkyun’s face, fingertips ghosting over his skin. Changkyun’s eyes closed, letting out a sigh.

“I’ll get you some hot water, alright?” Kihyun asked, laying his hands onto his knees and proceeding to try to stand up. 

“Wait, don’t leave!” Changkyun said, loud and insistent and  _ scared _ , his hand coming up blindly to grip at Kihyun’s shirt.

Kihyun stopped in his movement, his eyes taking in the way Changkyun was clinging onto him in such a desperate manner. He tried his best not to let his voice tremble. “I will come back, I promise. You’re safe here, okay? Trust me.”

There was a moment in which Kihyun wasn’t sure if Changkyun would let go, but he did, his hand falling back down to his side, turning his head to look at him. “Okay.”

Kihyun nodded with a soft smile on his lips, getting up, not leaving the room without throwing one more glance at Changkyun. He felt bad as soon as he had passed the doorway, and so he began running down the stairs, almost tripping over the end of the staircase and crashing into Jooheon that was standing in the middle of the room that must’ve been the kitchen of the old farm house at one point. 

“Hyung, are you okay?” Jooheon asked, eyes slightly wide. He’d been crying, Kihyun could tell.

All he wanted to do was console Jooheon, but at the same time, he knew Changkyun was waiting for him upstairs, so scared, so alone. His heart clenched inside his chest.

“Yeah, sure, I’m fine,” he responded hastily, looking cautiously at Jooheon as he walked over to the stove and checked the water Jooheon had set up to boil in one of their old pots. “Are … are you?”

“No,” Jooheon said quickly, walking over to help Kihyun. “But it’s fine. Has the kid woken up yet?”

Kihyun felt uneasy, even at the simple question. “Y-yeah,” he responded, turning the stove off so the water would be able to cool down. “He … I will tell you everything later. We need to warm him up quickly.” He was torn between wanting to make Jooheon feel better and going back upstairs, but Jooheon made the decision for him and placed a small towel on Kihyun’s shoulder as Kihyun picked up the pot.

“No time to waste, then,” Jooheon said softly, trying to smile at Kihyun before turning away towards the living room where Shownu was speaking to Minhyuk, keeping him awake.

Kihyun promised himself mentally to have a talk with Jooheon later about all that had happened, but right now, he needed to take care of Changkyun. He was physically hurt so bad, but Kihyun had the impression that the wounds were more than skin deep. 

Jooheon, Jooheon was strong. Jooheon would be able to bear this. He would have to. Surviving was the priority. Everything else just luxury.

The water almost spilled over the top of the pot as Kihyun hurried to get upstairs again, the creaks of the wood announcing his presence. He turned to the left, entering his room, his glance automatically fixed on Changkyun. Changkyun, who even underneath all the blankets, Kihyun could tell was shivering as he took deep breaths, eyebrows knitted together, a thin sheen of sweet on his pale face.

“I’m here,” Kihyun tried to reassure him, getting down onto his knees and placing the pot of water next to the bed, careful not to touch the hot metal. “I’m here, don’t worry, we heated up some water, you’ll be warmer soon, okay?”

He reached for the pot, noticing with utter shock in between his motions that he had forgotten to bring or a cup or anything--”Fuck, I forgot, you need to drink something, I’ll be--” Kihyun stood up again quickly. “I’ll be right back!” he said, before running out of the room.

And he could’ve sworn he heard a soft, faint chuckle echoing behind him.

When they finally had a cup (Kihyun had actually been able to find one in the tiny bathroom they shared) another problem needed to be overcome. Changkyun couldn’t sit up, no matter how hard he tried, his arms not being able to support his weight for more than a few seconds. 

“Can I …?” Kihyun didn’t exactly know what he was asking for, but he did nonetheless, searching for affirmation in Changkyun’s eyes that he would be okay.

It came in the form of a tiny nod, Changkyun’s eyes closed in a frown. Okay. It was okay. Now he just needed to actually do something.

Kihyun didn’t understand why his hands were shivering like this as he reached around to hold Changkyun up with his left arm, his other hand holding the cup of water. Changkyun didn’t seem like he would be able to even drink on his own without spilling it all over the blanket, and so Kihyun carefully raised the cup, letting it touch Changkyun’s lips. Changkyun co-operated as much as he could, tilting his head back a bit to drink. He coughed a little, Kihyun pulling the glass away and hushing Changkyun’s barely audible apology, before he lifted his head to finish the cup, eyes still closed. When he was done, Kihyun slowly lowered Changkyun back onto the bed.

“Just tell me if you’re thirsty again…” Kihyun placed the now empty cup next to the pot, attempting to tuck Changkyun back into the blankets, before he realized with shock just how much blood was on his skin, a sharp contrast to the beige color of the blanket. The kid had dry blood on his arm, he needed to warm up, Kihyun needed to--

“Are you going to give me a sponge bath?”

Kihyun’s eyes darted up from the pot, blinking at Changkyun’s now open ones looking right back at him. The kid couldn’t move, could barely speak, but Kihyun didn’t miss the mischievous glint in his eyes. He was too tense to laugh out loud, but couldn’t prevent the slight rise of the corners of his mouth.

“You should sleep,” he responded, raising a hand to lay it against the kid’s forehead. He had no idea what symptoms came with blood loss, but he hoped fever wasn’t one of them.

“Hey, it was a serious question,” he murmured, eyes closing again at Kihyun’s touch before looking back up at him.

“And it was a serious answer,” Kihyun smiled, not missing the way Changkyun’s eyes sparkled. “You must be tired.”

“Obviously, but I’m hardly going to sleep through a sponge bath.” Changkyun’s eyes scrunched closed again, breathing out shakily.

Kihyun looked at him, a soft expression in his eyes. “I’m just glad to hear you’re well enough to crack jokes,” he explained, thinking about what to do for a second. Clearly, Changkyun wouldn’t be comfortable sleeping like this, and some sort of hope in his eyes almost made him stumble over his words. “Maybe it would really be a good idea to clean you up. But you have to promise me to sleep afterwards, alright?”

Kihyun, although he wasn’t too sure he wasn’t imagining it, saw Changkyun’s cheeks pinken slightly. Anything was better than the ghostly pale he’d been since Kihyun found him, but it made the blood rise to Kihyun’s cheeks as well.

“I, I mean,” Kihyun suddenly stuttered, not really sure what to say, considering what he had just proposed seemed less appropriate at the second thought, “I mean, we don’t have to, of course. I don’t even know if you would be okay with me, you know--”

“I’m used to it,” the kid mumbled. “No one wants to eat from a dirty plate, after all.”

Kihyun felt his heart drop. “I’m sorry,” he hurried to say, the words on his tongue suddenly all gone. He hectically reached for the pot. “You know what, you should just sleep and when you wake up, I will get you another pot of water and you can clean yourself, we actually have a bathroom here and--” 

“No, please, I’m--” Changkyun’s fingers twitched. “I’m so tired of smelling like blood. And you’re not--you’re not them, it’s fine. I’d do it myself if I could.”

Kihyun wasn’t so sure if it was fine. Changkyun’s words made something inside of him ache, and he didn’t know how to stop it. A part of him screamed at him to make Changkyun feel better, but he just didn’t know how. He had absolutely no idea who this boy in front of him was, other than his name, or what had happened to him. The only thing he could do was show him he wouldn’t … he wouldn’t hurt him.

“You have to tell me if I should stop,” Kihyun told him, searching for Changkyun’s glance. His voice softened. “How about we start with your hands?”

“I don’t care,” Changkyun murmured, face turned to the side, eyes clearly struggling to stay open, holding his one hand up nonetheless. “I’m going to--I’m tired. Kihyun?”

Kihyun took the boy’s hand, pressing the warm washcloth against his pale skin, still so soft against Kihyun’s, but clammy and cold. “Yeah?” His voice cracked in the middle of the word. The playful atmosphere from earlier somehow seemed gone now, and he couldn’t pretend it wasn’t because of the bruises decorating Changkyun’s skin. They both saw them.

“Don’t--don’t feel too--” Changkyun bit down slightly on his bottom lip. “I was there for three years. I made peace with it. Don’t feel too bad about what you see. Please?”

Kihyun swallowed, barely managing a nod. Changkyun’s hand in his was so soft, his fingers so delicate; they looked just as normal as his own did, if it weren’t for the drops of blood on the back of his hand, and the deep red rings under his fingernails. Kihyun had no problem with seeing blood, but this made him feel sicker than most of the wounds of the others he had treated so far. Maybe because the image of how they might have appeared was replaying in his mind.

He wiped the blood off with the washcloth, some drops of the warm water trickling down his and Changkyun’s arms. As he turned his arm around, lips pressed together, it was hard suppressing any noise. Changkyun must’ve felt the tension, because he spoke up.

“Do you do this often or..?”

Kihyun let the washcloth wander over the wounds on Changkyun’s wrist. Some of them were deeper, a dark shade of red, others more on the surface. A few of them had become scars, two corresponding little holes in his skin that didn’t leave a doubt where they came from. Spots of blue and green interrupted the red, most of it taken away from the water. The bones of Changkyun’s wrist were painfully visible beneath the thin skin.

“What?” Kihyun asked, trying to hold up a casual conversation as if what he was doing right now wasn’t more than just intimate for two strangers having just met. “Break into the hideouts of vampire clans or clean up tired boys on the mattress of my bedroom?”

The corners of Changkyun’s lips twitched. “Are those mutually exclusive?” 

Kihyun smiled. “Let’s just say the latter happens less often.” 

“Mmm, now I feel special…” Changkyun murmured lazily. 

“You can be glad I’m the one taking care of you,” Kihyun tried to joke, although his voice seemed a bit tense as he carefully pulled up the sleeve of Changkyun’s robe, revealing his arm. The cloth was stained with blood, a hard contrast against the white fabric. Changkyun’s forearm looked less bad than his wrist, but the soft spot of his elbow made Kihyun’s stomach drop. “If it were Jooheon, I’m sure he would’ve managed to spill half the pot over you by now. Not even talking about Minhyuk.”

“There’s… I mean, there’s more of you? Humans, I mean.”

Kihyun nodded, noticing it would be impossible cleaning Changkyun’s skin properly with his sleeve rolled up like this. Shit. “We’re actually a group of five. There’s … well, I guess all of the names would just confuse you right now, but you’ll talk to them later. No need to be scared,” he added because he felt like needing to let Changkyun know. “They’re all … really nice.”

“I can’t wait to meet them,” Changkyun said, and Kihyun could tell that he meant it.

Changkyun surely had to notice the way Kihyun was staring at his sleeve. He tried his best to pull it up further, but it just wouldn’t work. The tip of Kihyun’s ears was starting to blush and he bit down on his lip, voice trembling as he asked: “I, um, I think it’s a bit difficult cleaning this up with the robe on. There’s … there’s also a lot of blood on it. I can give you some of my clothes, if it doesn’t … I mean …” Words weren’t on Kihyun’s side today.

“I’d happily burn this robe in a fire,” Changkyun said, and Kihyun could see him try to shift up on the mattress. “You’re gonna have to help me, though.”

“Sure,” Kihyun answered, voice not as steady as he would’ve liked for it to be. He wanted to slap himself for being like this, honestly; he had no idea what was going on with him. “I just … I mean, you don’t have to feel obliged to take it off or anything. If you feel uncomfortable with it. I just want to make sure you don’t have to do anything you’re not okay with … anymore.”

“I trust you,” Changkyun said, so faintly Kihyun almost missed it. Changkyun smiled softly, looking at Kihyun with something close to reverence. “You don’t exactly have to do this, but you are.”

“I don’t mind,” Kihyun reassured him quickly. He felt like Changkyun might think it was a burden on him to help him like this, when it was actually the opposite; he had always been the one taking care of people, yet something about this felt different. Warmer. “I really don’t mind, Changkyun.”

“Then thank you,” he said, sincerely, tugging at something in Kihyun’s heart, before trying, again, to sit up. “Now please take this damn robe off already.”

Kihyun swallowed down his fear, helping Changkyun to sit up enough to open the robe. He turned around, his back towards Kihyun, and slipped the fabric off his shoulders. 

Kihyun didn’t know what he had expected to see. Considering the crook of Changkyun’s elbows and his wrists had been stained with blood, the skin marked with scars, it might have been something similar to this, some bruises and dried blood. But as Changkyun lowered his head, his neck and shoulders clearly visible as the fabric of the robe curled around his waist, Kihyun dropped the sponge before his hands managed to stop shaking.

He clenched them to fists, biting down on his lip, because the worst thing he could do now was showing Changkyun just how bad it looked. Had he seen himself a mirror in the three years he had spent down there? Kihyun somehow hoped he hadn’t. Even more, he wanted to grab towels and cover all the mirrors in this house.

Not because he was disgusted by it. No, he wasn’t - something was pulling on his heart, his eyes aching like he was about to cry, an anger pooling in his stomach that was hard to hold back. He wasn’t disgusted, but he also didn’t want Changkyun to be.

“Tell me if it hurts,” he whispered, his voice faint in the silence of the room as he picked up the sponge and dipped it into the water, before pressing it softly against the skin between Changkyun’s shoulder blades. He couldn’t stop asking himself just how many vampires had used Changkyun like this, without caring what scars would stay. There wasn’t one spot of his skin that was even, not covered in healing bruises. He felt like throwing up.

His fingertips were close to touching Changkyun’s skin, and he didn’t know why. His hand was floating in the air just millimeters away from it, feeling the cold still radiating off his body. He forced himself to let his hand drop, gently, carefully letting the washcloth wander over Changkyun’s skin, taking the blood away until he reached his neck. It was the worst part of them all; the bite marks so deep they told Kihyun one bite wouldn’t have been able to achieve a scar like this. They were overlapping like patterns, some completely healed, some still red, old and new but everywhere.

“Does it look bad?”

Changkyun’s voice was so small, so quiet, so self-conscious.

“I can feel them,” Changkyun continued. “But I’ve never seen it. Don’t worry, they barely hurt anymore. The older ones, I mean.”

“It doesn’t look bad,”, Kihyun responded, the movements of the washcloth coming to a stop on Changkyun’s neck before he went on taking care of his elbows. “Don’t … don’t worry about them. They … they really aren’t that big, I guess you wouldn’t really notice if you … didn’t know.”

Kihyun was bad at lying, but somehow he hoped Changkyun was bad at detecting lies.

“Mmm, I’m gonna choose to believe that, thanks,” Changkyun said, swaying forward again.

Kihyun reached forward just quickly enough to catch him, his fingers closing around Changkyun’s arm, fingertips so hot against his ice cold skin. He pulled Changkyun closer, making sure he was able to hold himself up before he took his hand away again, the part of his skin where he had touched Changkyun almost burning up.

“M’sorry,” Changkyun murmured. 

Kihyun shook his head, only noticing a second later Changkyun couldn’t see it. “It’s okay,” he hurried to reassure the other. “I’ll clean your chest and then you can sleep, okay? Can you turn around?”

Changkyun’s arm steadied himself on the mattress, almost confidently, before he simply leaned back and plopped backwards into Kihyun’s chest with a soft laugh and a, “ _ Nooope _ .”

“Let me help you then.” Somehow Kihyun couldn’t explain why his voice was so small or why his cheeks were burning as he tried to help Changkyun lie down; no matter how unsure he was if Changkyun had a problem with being touched, there was no other way than doing exactly that. Changkyun’s eyes closed for a second as his back met the mattress once more; Kihyun would’ve liked to focus on his lashes throwing tiny shadows onto his cheeks, but his gaze constantly flickered towards the bruises on Changkyun’s chest. They were less vibrant than the other ones, clearly no bite marks, but rather blue spots like someone had pressed hard enough into his skin to hurt him; on his waist, beneath his collarbones, some on his ribs beneath the soft skin. He swallowed.

“How are you feeling?” Kihyun asked, hand shaking as he brought it up to gently clean the dried blood off the boy’s chest. It was a relevant question, after all. He felt a bit calmer, noticing how the up and down of Changkyun’s chest was slowing down, from way too quick to a more normal rate. Somehow this wasn’t in any way as awkward as Kihyun would’ve imagined a situation like this to be--Changkyun was just watching him with eyes full of unspoken expression as Kihyun cleaned him up.

“Dizzy, no surprises there… Cold,” he said, almost sighing at the warm water that must be helping, right? “Safe.”

Kihyun felt something fluttering inside his chest at Changkyun’s words. A warm feeling was spreading in his chest, that he somehow hoped he would be able to share with Changkyun. A small smile appeared on his lips. 

“Thank you for trusting me, Changkyun.” And he really meant it. Considering what this boy had gone through, things he couldn’t, didn’t even want to imagine, it surprised him he even let Kihyun come close to him like this. 

He looked down onto the boy who was letting Kihyun clean him, the cloth wandering over his chest, from his collarbones to where the blanket covered the skin on his waist. Kihyun didn’t want to stare, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t know what to feel beyond a fierce protectiveness he wasn’t prepared for as he looked down, at this hurt boy who was somehow still able to crack jokes in between all of this. It was… confusing.

He thought about asking Changkyun something, but he didn’t know what was too personal--his age? His parents? He had no idea how all of this was connected to the fact he had been held down there for such a long time, and it wasn’t something he particularly wanted to remind him of every two minutes.

Changkyun turned his face towards the mattress, breathing out deeply. His eyes fluttered open and he glanced up at Kihyun, the corner of his mouth turning up slightly. “You blush easily.”

Kihyun froze. For the hundredth time today, he didn’t know what to say. Normally he wasn’t  _ like this _ .

“I’m not blushing,” he responded, a hint of fleeting protest in his voice. “I’m just feeling warmer than you, which is exactly the reason why you should go to sleep. So I can … so I can be the one teasing you tomorrow about not looking as pale as a sheet of paper.” Well, at least he had tried making it sound like a joke. Internally, Kihyun felt like he was dying.

“Mmm, I can’t wait,” Changkyun said, the smile not faltering. 

“The faster you sleep, the less you will have to wait,” Kihyun answered, making sure all the blood was gone before reaching for the cloth of the robes, pulling it over Changkyun’s chest and the blanket up until it touched his chin. There was no way he’d get the kid to sit up to put on any proper, warmer clothes, but the blankets would be fine on their own.

“Promises, promises…”

Kihyun couldn’t help but chuckle. He tried his best to keep his face under control--why was he _ blushing _ , Changkyun was right, he absolutely _ was _ \--as he put the wet sponge on the floor next to the pot and stood up. 

“It’s getting dark outside,” he said, throwing a glance out of the window above the mattress. The sun had almost set behind the horizon. From the window in his room, he had a good view of the wide fields, the endless space behind their home, the mountains in the corner of the picture and the high sky above it. “I guess it’s a better idea to change your clothes tomorrow if you don’t mind, considering you can’t do it on your own.” Kihyun felt his cheeks light up from the sole thought about if he should offer Changkyun to help him changing. “At least you’re clean now. We will all be sleeping on the first floor and downstairs in the living room, so …” He wanted to tell Changkyun he could always call for him, but something didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel right to just leave him alone to sleep right now--

Changkyun turned his head to look at Kihyun, eyes suddenly wide, scared. “Please don’t… I mean--” Changkyun bit down on his lip, hard. Kihyun waited for him to say something, to finish his thought, but he just kept looking at him.

“Should I stay?” It was such a simple question, but Kihyun felt his heart beat anxiously inside his chest. 

Changkyun swallowed, eyes almost frantic as he seemed to search for absolutely anything to say. “That’s--that’s weird, right? I’m so sorry, I barely know you and you’ve done so much but I--I’m--I just haven’t touched or, hell, talked or held anyone in--” Changkyun was crying. He shouldn’t be crying, he had goddamn blood-loss and he shouldn’t be  _ crying _ . “I’m cold and--please? I’m sorry, you don’t have to, I…” 

Kihyun looked at him. Looked at the broken, hurt boy laying there, pressing his cheek against the pillow, begging for him to stay. He looked at him, and then he sank down onto his knees again, feeling Changkyun’s gaze burn on him as he kicked his shoes off, pulling back the blanket and hooking his arms around Changkyun’s arms and legs to gently move him on the mattress until there was enough space for him to fit.

Changkyun stared at him as he slipped beneath the blanket, pulling it over them, tears sparkling in his eyes. Kihyun felt like something was hurting beneath his skin, and he carefully placed an arm over Changkyun’s head, motioning for him to get closer.

“Come here,” he whispered. “It’s okay.”

Changkyun looked at him, eyes wide and shining with tears, before he sobbed. He sobbed and he moved closer without any of the hesitation Kihyun would have expected from a complete stranger, laying his head on Kihyun’s chest, directly over his heart, a hand gripping weakly onto Kihyun’s shirt. It was obvious he was trying to literally get as close as possible, and Kihyun could barely blame him. He was freezing and he was crying and it was instinct, almost, to pull the blankets over the two of them, an arm moving him closer, holding him there as he shivered and cried.

“It’s not weird,” Kihyun whispered, hand coming up to softly stroke the boy’s hair. Something about him just seemed to pull Kihyun closer to him, not physically, but emotionally. The weight of Changkyun’s head on his chest was almost reassuring. “You’re not weird. I’m here, I won’t leave, you can touch me, see? You can touch me and talk to me and I won’t go. I promise. I’ll take care of you, alright?”

“Why?” Changkyun asked, voice shaking, muffled on Kihyun’s chest. “I’m just--you already saved me, I’m just a kid, and you--don’t owe me anything, you didn’t have to do this and--fuck I’m so sorry I’m just going to hold you and shut up.”

Kihyun softly smiled into his hair. “Don’t be sorry. And don’t say you’ll shut up. You have a really nice voice, Changkyun, you know that?” Kihyun didn’t even know what exactly he was saying anymore. He just wanted him to feel  _ okay. _

Changkyun laughed. It wasn’t much, a deep laugh, but Kihyun could feel it against his chest. “Are you trying to coax secrets out of me or something?”

“Depends on if you have some to share,” Kihyun responded. His nose was touching Changkyun’s hair and even though it smelled like cold air and still a bit like blood, there was a fragrance that could only belong to Changkyun, warm, and sweet. “Do you?”

“No. I don’t know. Maybe. Haven’t really been doing much to accumulate any…” Changkyun’s hand gripped a bit tighter. “I’m lonely. Does that count as a secret?”

Something broke. “I think so,” he whispered, fingers combing through Changkyun’s hair. He felt like Changkyun liked it, judging by the way his head moved a bit to make it easier for Kihyun to touch him. Kihyun had somehow given up on asking himself why this felt so … calming. Nice. Like he didn’t want to stop. “Can I tell you a secret, too?”

Changkyun nodded, minutely. “Yeah.”

Kihyun didn’t really know what had moved him to ask that question, and now that he had to answer, he felt his stomach flutter in fear. Everything about Changkyun felt so familiar, although they had never met before, and he couldn’t explain why he was so drawn to the boy, wanting to make him feel better, to trust him that he’d be okay.

He leaned down, fingers playing gently with Changkyun’s hair. “I won’t let you be lonely anymore, okay?”

Kihyun felt the kid shift slightly, moving his head to look up at Kihyun, eyes still watery, face still pale and lips still too colourless in his soft smile. His eyes closed once more even before he looked down again, almost nestling into Kihyun’s chest. “You’re going to regret saying that. I’m annoying. And clingy, if you haven’t noticed…”

“I’m used to people being clingy,” Kihyun answered. “Minhyuk is like a fucking koala. Don’t worry about that. And annoying? Been there, seen it. If you aren’t a secret champion at archery, there will be almost no way to annoy me.”

“Your bedside manner is incredible, do you know that,” Changkyun said, and if Kihyun wasn’t imagining it, he was pretty sure this kid was teasing him. Again.

“Hah, how old are you even to talk like this?” Kihyun laughed, looking down at Changkyun, although he was only able to see the tip of his nose. “I bet you’re younger than me.”

“Mentally, I’m aged beyond comprehension. Physically, I’m--no way, you’re too cute to be older than me.”

Chances were high Changkyun noticed how Kihyun tensed for a second, brain refusing to make sense of his words. “I’m not cute,” he responded, desperate to say something to take the embarrassment away. “And I’m still older than you. You look like … I am trying to hold back in order not to destroy our blooming relationship.”

“I’m obviously not,” Changkyun said. “No, seriously, I look like what? This is the nose of a middle aged man, I won’t be insulted, just admit I’m older than you are.”

“You look like …” Kihyun thought about it for a second. “Sixteen, maybe?” (He definitely knew Changkyun wasn’t sixteen, but the protesting scrunch of his nose made his chest warm too much not to lie.)

“You’re being completely on purpose. I’m twenty one. I… think? Yeah, twenty one. Should be.” Changkyun laughed softly. “I have no idea.”

Kihyun felt sadness rising in his chest, the atmosphere changing immediately. Almost unconsciously, he pulled Changkyun closer, feeling his legs against his own beneath the blanket. “Do you … do you know your birthday?”

“Did you seriously just ask me if I know my own birthday?”

“Yup,” Kihyun smiled slightly, leaning his head back and staring at the ceiling. The last red, orange stripes of the setting sun were disappearing, leaving a grey, bluish haze behind. “Tell me something about yourself, Changkyun. Just anything. Anything you feel comfortable with.”

Kihyun knew Changkyun should sleep. But a less rational part of him wanted to get to know him so bad, like his brain wanted to understand why he felt such a strong connection without even knowing anything more than his name.

“Well, my birthday is on the twenty sixth of January, for starters,” Changkyun said, before pausing slightly. “I don’t know what to tell you, honestly… I don’t… My life’s kind of been restricted to being the play-thing of a bunch of vampires and I’d like to talk about that as much as I’m sure you’d like to hear about it..” Changkyun’s breath was shaky, pressing even closer to Kihyun. He felt warmer, now, almost. Not enough, but… almost.

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” Kihyun reassured him, fingers back to combing through his strands again. 

“I know… But it’s kind of difficult not to spill my guts when you’re touching me like that, Kihyun.”

Kihyun’s hand came to a stop. He normally wasn’t that affectionate towards anyone, had just assumed Changkyun could somehow feel the same things he was feeling--though he still didn’t know what that was--and so he quickly pulled his hand back.

“Sorry, I just--I’m not used to it, anymore. Please don’t stop, it’s nice, I’m just--I’m not used to being touched without it hurting.”

Kihyun gently laid his hand on Changkyun’s head again, making sure to keep his movements soft and careful. “I don’t …” He didn’t know what was the right thing to say. “I won’t hurt you. Promise. I … I’m also not used to--to touching anyone like this. Okay, this sounds pretty stupid, doesn’t it? I just want to … I want you to be okay.” And somehow Changkyun made all the truth spill out of him.  _ Oh god. _

“Thank you,” Changkyun said, and the grip on his shirt finally loosened. Like he wasn’t afraid Kihyun would leave anymore. He moved again, his leg hooking between Kihyun’s, his cheek nestling further into his chest, arm wrapped around his waist slacking slightly as he breathed. He spoke and it was like hearing someone talk in their sleep, unfiltered and muddled. Changkyun was still awake, but quite clearly not for long. “S’nice. T’hear a heart.”

Kihyun would’ve never guessed his heartbeat would make anyone feel this safe. And somehow, although he knew this probably wasn’t about him, and that it could’ve been anyone in his place, he felt flustered, and glad that it was him laying next to Changkyun. He had touched something inside of Kihyun, some part of himself he hadn’t known yet, because it felt so new and … raw. But he was fine with it. 

“M’gonna pass out now,” Changkyun murmured, so softly Kihyun probably wouldn’t have heard it if the room wasn’t completely silent, if there was nothing else to interrupt it than the mumblings of a boy he’d just met and his heartbeat, suddenly almost audible in his ears. “Night, Kihyunnie.”

Kihyun could’ve sworn his heart stopped beating for a second--but Changkyun was already asleep on his chest, and so he didn’t notice. Kihyun raised his head just slightly, and looked at him, a warmth rising in his chest. And somehow, deep inside, he knew that this would change a lot more than a part of himself Changkyun was the first to touch.

“I was right,” he softly whispered against Changkyun’s ear although he was sure the other was already in deep slumber. “I’m older than you.” 

And then: “I’ll take care of you.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! <3
> 
> Twitter:  
> @ shitty4eyes  
> @ Akiko_ chaan


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